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with so-called friends who seem so caught up in their own thoughts and problems, which I don’t even understand.Kaolla

Sadly nobody seems to have the patience to work with either Kaolla IC or me OOC.Kaolla

Kaolla… these statements are both absolutely untrue. Every character has tried to reach out to Kaolla and forced her to talk, which is already character breaking for some of them since they wouldn't naturally be so nosy and prying every into other people's business. It is completely unfair for you to say that people are all completely self-absorbed when we all have tried and put effort in and it hasn't ever made a difference…

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Since you asked, I'll tell you what I've observed and my feelings about what you've said and done thus far in the RP. I'm going to apologize now, because I'm going to be pretty blunt about this.

First off, you mentioned in the RP suggestion thread that others need to take a greater interest in other characters. First off, I haven't seen a problem like this, really. Most every character has and does take an interest in other characters. We tend to interact with each other, and ask about each others lives. The only person who doesn't seem to take an interest in others appears to be Kaolla. I can't tell you the number of times that Sae has tried, honest to god tried, to talk with her, but there is no reciprocal communication coming from Kaolla either. For me, it generally ends up being something like:

"How are you?"
"Um…ok."
"…what have you been up to?"
"Not much…"

Now I know I'm exaggerating a bit, but please understand my frustration when Sae asks about Kaolla's life, but isn't asked anything in return. I know you've justified this all by saying that 1. Kaolla's social inept and 2. Kaolla doesn't feel that she can ask questions.

So I'd like to ask you this:

Why?

Why doesn't Kao feel that she can ask anyone questions? Why is she *still* socially inept? From what I've heard, she's been with the group for two years now. A normal person can grow and learn from the people they surround themselves with. If a person has been traveling and going through life changing experiences with a group of people for that long, one would think that that person would trust those people, at least enough to ask a question about them. Because think of it this way: Why on earth is Kaolla traveling with a group of people that she doesn't know really the first thing about?

This brings me to my next point: Kaolla being anti-social. Now, being anti-social is fine if you want to play her as being such. However, you have completely unrealistic expectations of the rest of the characters. Kaolla has made herself known as a loner, and I don't think there's one character in the shell that hasn't made some attempt to reach out to Kaolla and help her.

I know that since I've joined, Sae, Avina, Kjara, Falgor and especially Nodem have tried to reach out and help bring her out of her shell. I think that's the thing that frustrates me the most. That time in Bibiki Bay when Kaolla *finally* opened up to Aurou, Nodem and Sae, I was so excited! Imagine my vast disappointment when absolutely nothing changed. Kaolla acted just the same to the three of them, except now she seemed a bit more hostile towards Nodem, and kept blushing when around Sae.

The logical course of events would be that she would evolve now, perhaps trust the three of them a bit more and be more open. But…that just…didn't happen.

Now, you say that you've given her a lot of room to grow by doing this. That's very true, you have. However, you haven't given her a good base to develop with. Let me explain.

Kaolla doesn't actively seek out other members of the group. However, you complain that others aren't taking an interest in her when they don't seek her out. Alright then. Well, Sae wouldn't really know where to find Kaolla, so she pulls out her pearl and calls for Kaolla. However, Kaolla as always, has her pearl buried at the bottom of her bag and thus, doesn't hear it and hence, doesn't say anything in return. Sae is NOT going to assume that something is wrong, because at this point, it's become a habit to get no answer from Kaolla. Sae tucks away her pearl and goes on with the rest of her day, thinking nothing of this except "Well, she didn't answer…again. Why do I keep trying?"

As Albert Einstein said: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

So Kaolla doesn't seek out the group and *try* to interact with the intention of speaking with the others. She also shuts down conversations by her refusal to ask anything about the other characters. Seriously, think back to all of the RPs you've done and think IC. How much do you really know IC about any of the other characters?

This combination of events makes it extremely frustrating, both IC and OOC to interact with her. If you want Kaolla to grow, you're going to need to show the initiative now. The characters aren't going to come running if you don't show up for an RP or two. They've simply become too jaded with Kaolla at this point.

Now, don't think that I'm saying that you need to scratch Kaolla off entirely. As I said, you simply need to show an initiative. Build a sturdy foundation that she can grow from. Have her ask a question about someone and about their past. I can almost completely assure you that nearly every character will react and continue talking to her if you do so. Seriously, let Kaolla grow on her own. Don't force her to start away from others and hope that someone will come interact with her. Don't justify not asking about someone by saying "Oh she doesn't feel like she can ask questions" or by saying "She's social inept".

I really think that you'll find the characters warming up to her again if you can just let her grow and interact.

Anyways, I'd like to note here that this isn't meant to be an attack on you or Kaolla. I think Kaolla is a very interesting character, and I give you this feedback because I want her (and you) to succeed.

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Yea about that… I was excited too, but some things kinda happened to stop that from all working out. One major thing was not long after that Sae and Nodem went off on their side RP in Aht Urhgan. In the RP when Sae’s NPC (blanking on the name) showed up I tried to get involved but was told I was in the way. Trying really hard not to take that personally, but it kinda gave me the message to back off. So I did.Kaolla

It seems as though you've focused on one aspect out of everything that I said and then decided to turn it around and pin the blame on me. Which I'll admit, I don't really appreciate. Yes, during the RP I asked you to tone it down a bit for that one scene. But that's neither here nor there, and now, it should have little to no impact on how you RP. If you misinterpreted it to mean the entire RP in general, I apologize, but I'm quite positive that I was very clear about it being that single scene.

And the thing is, you *could* have known about Sae, and her alters IC. Sae told Avina because she had asked about it. Sae trusts (or at least used to) Kaolla that had she simply asked, she would have told her everything. Which brings me back to my original point.

You asked for feedback. I gave you feedback, which I now feel was a waste of my time because of the way you replied to it. Therefore, if you want any more advice on how to improve and if you plan to listen, I'd be happy to give it.

Until then, I'll see you in RP.

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What do we, the other RPers, do for Kaolla that we have not already done in order to get her out of her funk? Where is the hang-up, and what can we do to fix it? Please try to be as specific as possible.

Just because you hesitate before responses while RPing doesn't mean you should be hiding in Mhaura. If you genuinely want to get better then you have to work at it and come out and talk with us. It WILL get easier. Every line she says doesn't have to be the most clever thing said all day. If you aren't naturally witty, don't try and force yourself to be. If she's socially awkward than a "Yes", "No", or "I guess it went sort of like this" would be fine.
Again, if the character actually WANTS to be part of the group, shouldn't she pull her pearl out and listen? Kirious hates just about every character on the shell, but he's still constantly listening to it.